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High conflict individuals: some cases always end up in court

9 June 2023

Queensland has introduced new domestic violence laws aimed at combating coercive control.

The laws will help victims by looking at a pattern of behaviour, rather than individual incidents and the new laws also aim to limit a perpetrators ability to re-traumatise their victims during the court process.

However, in some cases, no matter how strong the laws or how keen you are to reach a settlement with your former partner, the matter will still end up in front of a judge.

This could be because your ex is what is known as a “high conflict person”.

High conflict people feel justified in:

  • Committing family violence
  • Destroying property
  • Hiding assets
  • Harassing and stalking the other party
  • Physically abusing children
  • Alienating children from the other parent
  • Making false allegations of child abuse
  • Making false allegations of domestic violence
  • Filing grievances against and suing legal and mental health professionals
  • Publicly retaliating against the opposing party and/or the legal and mental health professionals in the media and on the internet

Unfortunately, the adversarial nature of the court process attracts individuals with high conflict personalities because they want their day in court.

They see the judge as being an all-powerful person who will punish or control their ex-partner for them.

When dealing with a high conflict person, it is often unlikely that a settlement can be reached, or at least, not until there has been a great deal of emotional and financial expense because these people are not rational or reasonable.

High conflict people are not good at negotiation, as they tend to have an “all or nothing” mentality. At the same time, the high conflict person will pressure their ex to give them much more than a court would give them, because of their innate belief they were abandoned or are superior.

If you can reach a settlement before going to court, then it is critical the agreement be written in an enforceable manner and be as specific and detailed as possible.

You will need to draft the agreement while bearing in mind the high conflict person will try and violate the agreed-to terms.

If you find yourself in a situation where you feel your former partner is a high conflict person, you need legal advice in empathetic surroundings. The family law experts at Michael Lynch Family Lawyers are here to help you through this time.

Call our office on: (07) 3221 4300 or email: [email protected] to make an obligation free appointment.

2023-06-09T11:21:08+10:00

Client Testimonials

I have appreciated the way that you and the staff at your firm have handled my situation. I would especially like to mention the professional and caring way my lawyer conducted my case, I am deeply grateful and extremely happy with the results. I will be referring others to your service.

J.H., Wellington Point

I really liked the personable service by Michael Lynch Family Lawyers, the simple plain language you adopt and everyone’s patience.

A.O., Kedron

Michael Lynch Family Lawyers know what they are talking about.

R.M., Warwick

Thank you for helping me through this difficult time. You have been caring, compassionate and efficient. Some of my divorcing friends have not been so fortunate. In my mind, you are the best family lawyer in Brisbane. If anyone I know needs a good family lawyer, I will tell them to speak to you. Thanks again.

B.T., Clayfield

My lawyer has been an amazing help through this stressful time. I will remember her help for the rest of my life. Thank you.

J.H., Brisbane

At Michael Lynch Family Lawyers I got professional and ‘no-nonsense’ advice, costs were within quoted amounts and my matter was resolved quickly – well done!

L.R., Ascot

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T.S., Flinders
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R.G., Wishart

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C.M., Morningside
So pleased to have had a good, sound and knowledgeable firm.
C.W., Brookfield
I liked my solicitor keeping things as simple as possible.
S.M., Clayfield
Amy, thanks very much to you and your team. Throughout my dealings with MLFL I have been continually impressed with your level of professionalism and, in particular, your understanding of circumstances and the articulate way you conduct yourself. I was completely satisfied with today’s outcome and without your experience and expertise in family law I doubt that the result would have been achieved.
M.R., West End
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G.C., Clayfield
Thank you for your ongoing conciliatory approach in this matter and as always I appreciate your level headed advice. I certainly feel that I ended up with the right Solicitor.
S.C., Nundah
Thank you, you placed my needs first, you were aware of the need to reach a final result and not get caught up in the personal issues of the other party.
S.L., Moranbah
Your team’s communication with me was exceptional, I knew exactly what was happening.
A.A., Eatons Hill

Thank you, you kept me sane in a difficult situation and gave me the encouragement and the confidence to keep going. You made me feel extremely comfortable.

A.M., Chambers Flat
May I take this opportunity to express my gratitude to you and your staff for the excellent professional services I received. In a word, priceless.
D.H., Hendra
Michael Lynch Family Lawyers always gave me competent and knowledgeable advice. I was consistently kept up to date. The meetings and phone calls were kept business-like, yet caring and thoughtful of my emotional state at the time. Thank you.
J.S., Holland Park

We had such a positive experience with Michael Lynch Family Lawyers, and we highly recommend their services. Meticulous attention to detail, attended quickly to every additional request we made, and made sure we always knew exactly where we were every step of the way. Our lawyer took what was such a stressful and emotional time for our family, and made the process feel so smooth and seamless.

N.B., Brisbane
I appreciate you being upfront with fee estimates. You also have a fantastic website and the seminars REALLY helped to get me focussed.
T.C., Tarragindi

Thank you Debra for all the work you did for me, you both made the process manageable and brought sense to the chaos.

R.B., Toowong
If I need a family lawyer in the future I’ll be heading to Michael Lynch Family Lawyers again.
C.W., Brookfield
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K.B., Carina

Many thanks to Stephanie for her help and support through this time, I was incredibly impressed with her work.

L.K., North Lakes
Michael, thank you again for your presence here yesterday. We really appreciated the clarity and accessibility of your presentation. It is a rare thing to find somebody who not only has expertise, but also has a skill in communicating it.
J.S., Brisbane
Michael Lynch Family Lawyers have really listened to me. I felt confident my case was handled well. The law has changed recently, and I did not feel that a previous law practice I spoke to was suitably up-to-date.
P.B., Carindale

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C.T., Bribie Island

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A.O., North Brisbane

My solicitor is a good listener. My documentation maintained the high moral ground.

S.S., Hamilton
The staff at Michael Lynch Family Lawyers were great. Everyone was fantastic, professional, understanding, caring and always communicated with me. I knew I was in good hands.
A.A., Eatons Hill

I’m very glad ‘Michael Lynch Family Lawyers’ is my lawyer and not the other side’s solicitor.

S.S., Hamilton
I like that my lawyer treated me like a friend and kept jargon to a minimum. She was easy to contact and kept me informed.
L.R., Samford
Amy’s work was extremely professional but above all she has a manner and wisdom in dealing with people under stress. I will be recommending your firm to anyone that requires assistance.
K.H., Augustine Heights
I was guided through a really difficult time with expertise of Michael Lynch Family Lawyers. I am more than happy with the outcome of mediation.
J.H., Windaroo
My lawyer acted with professionalism in all her dealings with me and with the lawyer on the other side. I was always kept in the loop. I liked her approach. Thanks.
D.S., Coorparoo

My lawyer was the most knowledgeable of all lawyers I spoke to when looking for a lawyer. Michael Lynch Family Lawyers showed professionalism.

R.R., Brighton
Lovely to deal with and provides a balanced view in what are very difficult circumstances.
A.C., Morningside

Thank you for being very personable, professional and always providing me with the most appropriate advice in my times of difficulty. The other party’s lawyers were extremely aggressive, while Michael Lynch Family Lawyers remained calm and professional.

S.D., Parkinson
Thank you for providing me with a professional yet empathetic approach to gain the best outcome for me. My solicitor was excellent in explaining the processes and in representing me in Court. You have great customer service!
T.V., Everton Park
I always felt that the service provided by Michael Lynch Family Lawyers was of a high standard. Each time, after appointments I came away feeling secure. Keep doing what you are and maintain the ‘family feel’ that permeates your services.
C.W., Brookfield
Your team is professional, warm, friendly and real.
N.R., Crows Nest

After utilising the mediation services team recommended by your organisation, my ex-partner and I were able to reach some interim agreements about parenting. I am incredibly grateful for the advice provided by Debra Effeney; and found your firm’s services to be exceptionally professional. If we needed to consult a family lawyer in the future, we would have no hesitation in reconnecting with your firm.

K.M., Paddington
The professionalism and reliability delivered by Amy Honan was fantastic. I had an urgent matter around my property sale and Amy offered to provide assistance over a weekend if I required it – that’s above and beyond!
E.F., Nundah

Thank you very much to everyone at Michael Lynch Family Lawyers. Thank you for helping me get my life back and make a fresh start. To have that fresh start without fear and anxiety is priceless.

A.A., Perth
Amy, thank you for all that you have done during this matter. You impressed me with your professionalism from our initial meeting, and you have proven beyond doubt, to have had the skills and knowledge required. You are a credit to the company, and I would highly recommend you to anyone in a similar situation.
R.P., Cleveland
Many thanks for your assistance – life is now great – I’m moving on.
J.K., Mansfield
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G.C., Southport

I just wanted to get in touch to say thanks for helping me get through my custody and settlement. Thanks again to you and your staff. You have had a significant positive impact in my kids’ lives!

B.S., Brisbane
Michael is very personable and very good at covering the material and explaining the strategy.
J.O., Hawthorne

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D.T., Ferny Grove
I was impressed by my solicitor’s attention to detail and her concern for me, and that the process was explained to me and that I understood it at all times.
B.W., Chapel Hill
Amy, thank you. You have been diligent, accurate and pro-active for the entire duration of my matter. I appreciate it.
R.P., Cleveland
My family lawyer was very helpful in assisting me to combat a very ugly situation without stooping to the low levels that the other solicitor attempted to take us.
M.J., Manly
A personalised and professional service. Information has been clear and provided timely to assist my decision-making.
S.S., Hamilton
Thank you for the outstanding legal advice you have provided and professionalism in which you conduct yourself. I am truly thankful that it was you who represented me.
M.T., Stafford
I appreciate my lawyer’s professional approach and her being on top of my situation.
N.S., Mt Gravatt

I would like to thank your firm for the support and compassion shown while dealing with my matter.

C.M., Brisbane